24–28 June
When I complete my training week at the Hanger Clinic, I have this idea that I need to keep up the momentum. The whole summer is ahead of me, and I have nothing but time. I need to wear my ExoSyms for a minimum of two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon, just like at the Clinic, and build up from there.
And then there’s two days of driving, and a trip to the redwoods. Then I’m tired and it’s hot and I haven’t been home in ten days. First, I’ll rest. I’ll practice later. Already, I’ve lost the momentum. Life is not a montage.
Even though it’s nowhere near four hours a day, I do practice walking in my ExoSyms. I can move around the house in them without poles, but I find that I am lurching from furniture to furniture. It’s almost as if I’m wearing roller skates, and I don’t know how to stop. Or steer. It’s hard for my brain to realize I have more balance in these, not less. That I can let go of the table and stand up straight.
After the unexpected calf swelling, it’s taken a full week for my calves to feel like they fit properly into the cuffs, that the cuffs can close without squeezing them.
I’m doing the ab exercises that Jared assigned. And I took a couple furniture sliders from my parents’ house to use under my feet for the exercise he had me doing on rectangles of carpet. Pointing my toes inward and then outward. The hardest thing ever. I am definitely not doing thirty. Maybe I’ll work my way up to that.
On Friday June 26th, a week after leaving Hanger, I send videos to Ryan of me walking with and without poles. The first of many weekly updates. I have so much work ahead of me.
Saturday, it’s cooler, so I take myself outside to practice walking. My husband comes with me in case I face-plant because there’s no way I can get up by myself (yet. I hope it’s yet.) It feels so different, walking outside. Textured sidewalk, uneven blacktop. My left side feels so stiff. I am lopsided. I cannot seem to move in a functional manner. So much work. It’s a full week later, and it doesn’t seem very much improved. I spend about an hour walking up and down outside.
I am finally brave enough to try putting my wrists through the straps on my poles and twisting them tight before gripping the handles. Both Ryan and Jared suggested this method to give my wrists more support. It seems very dangerous in the event of a fall, but it really does help my wrists and make me feel more stable.
Inside, I put on my Leonard Bernstein playlist and practice for another hour. I have about a dozen steps of floor space from the front door to the table. Do a lap. Pause. Wiggle-dance. Lap. Pause. Wiggle-dance.
This week I discover that I can:
- Stand up from a chair with no hands. I can do this without ExoSyms sometimes, if the chair is supportive enough and exactly the right height. It usually takes a few tries and is the result of momentum rather than actual ability. It still might take a couple tries with the ExoSyms, but they definitely give me a boost. When I discovered I could do it, I did it over and over and started laughing. Standing up is fun.
- Stretch my hamstrings while standing. Usually, I stretch my hamstrings lying on my back with one leg in a yoga strap. I really dislike this position because it’s a strain on the rest of my body to pull my leg up. Sometimes, I do a modified downward dog instead, but it’s not as good a stretch. With my ExoSyms on, I can put my heel on the floor out in front of me and bend toward it, toes up. The brace keeps my ankle flexed, so the stretch is really good. So simple. I can stretch my hamstrings ten times a day now, if I want.
What Happened to Your Legs? 